Help wanted, Help needed!

The Scranton Star reports that the Scranton Blue Collars are not only in "want" of help they are in desperate "need". The demise of the once successful franchise is without doubt due to the absolutely horrible bullpen, that is, if it can even be called one.

The so-called "pen" have combined for a record of 1-18 through the season thus far with a 10.51 ERA, a .365 OAV, and a 2.42 WHIP. Horrible is an understatement and Scranton has had enough! In their last performance the then "winless" Aaron Dobson of the Charlotte Codes at a 0-5 record was handed his first win when Robert Hayes of the Collars entered in the 7th with the score 2-3. To make a long story short, and a story that occurs day in and day out, the inning ended 2-7, the pen having allowed 4 runs - including 2 dingers. The offense is frustrated in providing the pen with 25 (the 6th most) opportunities to close out a win of which they have successfully closed only 13 (the worst percentage in the league although the Anteaters and Pioneers come close.)

Help is not only wanted it is needed! Also of note the Collars bullpen coach is one loss away from being tarred and feathered as reported by local news columnists following the disbandment of an angry mob outside Lackawanna County Stadium following tonights game. The mob is increasing in their persistence and head count with each game as are the death threats to Ricky Whitaker, the now hated bullpen "spectator man" because nobody knows exactly what he's doing but it is certain that he's definitely not "coaching". To Ricky we here at the Scranton Star would like to make clear that coaching is NOT A SPECTATOR SPORT!