HOTDOG LIVES!

It has been confirmed by  witnesses,drinking on the shores of Lake Wobegon,that hotdog,thought to be deceased,is indeed alive and well although battered. They swore he was walking on the water but it was later determined that the lake was frozen over,as usual. He had a close encounter with an icebreaker. His body bore numerous injuries believed to have been caused by sharp objects. The prosecuting attorney was forced to dismiss charges against three former players because the alleged victim was not dead. A statement from the prosecutor's office said,"It is a sad day for justice in America when criminals walk away because their slick lawyers can use a loophole in the law." When contacted later,hotdog is quoted as saying the whole episode was the result of a drinking binge gone too far. He woke up and escaped from the body bag. He says he now understands the serious consequences of wine,women and song and has pledged to give up singing. He expects his players to do likewise and has promised a new atmosphere of kulture and and ejucation inside and outside the clubhouse. He insisted on others showing him and his players some respeck. To accomplish these lofty goals,he has enlisted the aid of a 12 player committee who are currently on a tour of the Middle East and Europe to proclaim the good news.